At 4:13 am CST, I will be the oldest I've ever been.

I am OLD.   I have a grey hair in one of my eyebrows.

Holy fucking weddings, Batman!

At least three this year, methinks.  In April, Jacquelyn and I drove out to Colorado for her sister's wedding.  On August 1st, my friends Pierre and Tara (who I've been friends with since 1997) are finally getting married.  Jacquelyn is flying to a conference that first week of August, so she won't be attending that one.  However, in September, another friend of ours is getting married and we'll be attending that one.  I can't remember if I posted about that one or not - I did the invite for it.  They wanted it to look a bit like a concert poster.  Apparently they've gotten some mighty fine compliments about it.

What else has been going on?

I went and saw Public Enemies yesterday.  It was pretty good - not fabulous, but good.  The casting and acting was really spot-on.  My only real criticism is all technical - the editing was a little wonky, the dark scenes were grainy.  There was so much bass on the gunfire (which I'm not sure was on purpose or not) that you actually cringed when the guns fired.  A few places the audio was not mixed well.  Otherwise it was awesome.  Being a fan of The Illuminatus! Trilogy, I am especially enamored of the Dillinger legend.  I think that was really the last time a criminal was a folk hero.  SPOILER: One thing they left out, which I think was poignant was that after the FBI shot Dillinger in front of the Biograph theatre, the crowd rushed the police and dipped their handkercheifs in his blood, like he was a saint.

My birthday is this coming Tuesday.  Jacquelyn and I are going to Devil's Lake camping for a couple days after I get off work on Tuesday.  Ethan's birthday is Thursday, but we'll be celebrating it with him the following Saturday.  Somehow I still have to squeeze in the new Harry Potter movie in there next week.  Have I mentioned how excited I am for that?  It's been two years since the last movie.  Two years!

I think I'm getting Ethan a custom pair of Chucks for his birthday.  Did you know you could design your own Chucks on their website?  Yeah, bitches!  I have no idea what I want for my birthday.  I never do though.  I never got much of anything for my birthdays when I was a kid and maybe I just got used to not expecting much.  I also don't walk through stores and think about how much I want the stuff I see.  Sorry to anyone who has ever tried to figure out what to get me :)

Have you people seen fucking delicious?  It's pretty hilarious. (fuckindelicious )

Now we know what was REALLY going on!

Hey everyone!

So, based on some personal preferences and your nominations, I've complied and presented the finalists under the cut. Please click the little boxes (four of them) for your favorites. Come on, VOTE! You know you wanna. Who doesn't like clicking little check boxes?!

( It's a fucking DEMOCRACY, people! )

Hey people!

I must ask you a favor:  I am showing four photos in a show in August.  I would like your help in deciding which four photos to show.  I know this is all time and labor intensive, but I would really appreciate it.  I would love to get some outside opinions.  After staring at them for so long, I've lost perspective a bit.

If you would travel over to jackart and pick out a few of your favorites and comment here and let me know which ones?  That would be awesome in the literal sense of the word.  I will compile the favorites and do a poll here afterward.

Thanks a ton, dear readers.

I've updated jackart with my photos from the trip East.  Check it out.

Here are some of the photos from my vacation to Vermont (which included side trips to New Hampshire and Boston.) Ethan, Jacqui, and I had a great time over all. The main purpose was for Jaqcqui's brother Josh's high school graduation. However, it is also probably the last time we will visit Vermont before Jacqui's mom moves away and Jacqui loses her Vermont anchor. Her brother is going off to Norwich. This was also the first time she saw her step-dad since he and her mum split, so there was also some stress and sadness.

On a lighter note, we brought Jacqui's kayak back to Wisconsin and I am really excited about that. I got to add two more states to my traveled-to list (Connecticut and Massachusetts.) I rode my first subway. Technically saw the ocean. (It was foggy and across a bay.) All in all, I hope Jacquelyn lands a job in New England somewhere. The landscape is just amazing - even though I was glad to get home, I was kind of sad looking out at boring-flat-Wisconsin. Anyway, here's some prettiness. More will get posted in jackart later on.

( CLICKYCLICKY )

Ta-dah!

Driving in a motorcade of limousines. Transporting something very important - something scientific, like a secret formula or something. But at night something happens - there is some sort of attack and one of the limos vanishes. When we investigate, all we find is scattered papers and baby ducks where the limo used to be. This happens several times.

Happy Father's Day.

I had another Barack Obama dream last night.  We met over a game of chess and had a nice long talk about how things have been going and the difficulties he's been having.  He was especially stressed and troubled over having to kowtow to the free-market system.  He seemed very upset about having to compromise as much as he has, even though his style is ruthless pragmatism.  I left him with a book and some websites to visit and moved on.

I'd like to imagine that at night, he's astral-travelling and that I'm not just having imaginary political conversations in my dreams.

My friend John, the one who cut off all contact with me a couple years ago without warning or explanation, emailed me last week with basically "Hi?" and that was it.  I emailed him back and said he owes me more than that.  I still haven't heard back from him.  I'm not putting up with these abusive shenanigans again.  If he can't deal with me on an adult level and own his shit, then I'm not interested.  Don't get me wrong, I love the guy and he was one of the best friends I've ever had.

However, my father was distant and abusive when I was growing up and when John got angry, he would be verbally abusive and then he would disappear for a while.  Eventually he would come back and just expect everything to be fine - and it was - because I was just happy to have my friend back.  I was like a little puppy who kept wandering back hoping to get petted instead of kicked.

I don't need that anymore.  I think it was the road trip out to Salt Lake City with my dad last summer.  We had four days in the car with nothing to do but talk and talk we did.  We hashed out just about everything, my whole history, my early life, his early life, everything that happened, and I feel like I've walked away with those issues clear.  I've never felt closer to my dad and I really understand why my father was the way he was and that allows me to forgive.  Which is like a weight off my shoulders, like a cage taken off my heart, a spiritual glass ceiling broken.

So John, if you're looking for someone to take your shit and unconditionally validate you, you may want to look elsewhere.  But, and this is my sincere hope, you want to rekindle a rewarding friendship, step up and say so.  If not, good luck, because I don't need that shit in my life.

So Happy Father's Day, dear readers.  Perhaps it is because it is the summer solstice - the day with the most light - that I am feeling particularly clear and focused.  It is a good feeling, to see.

Greetings!

I am blogging to you from the illustrious Buffalo in the great state of New York!

After a relatively uneventful drive from Wisconsin, we stopped for the night, dined at Ruby Tuesday, and passed the fuck out after marveling at the meta-ness trainwreck of Charm School with Ricki Lake.

Though, we did see some of the all-time douchiest driving ever.

A few hours today (pretty much the whole state of New York - this fucker is WIDE) and we'll be in Vermont and I won't have to think about the road (until Sunday when we drive down to Boston.)

Perhaps we'll finish Jacqueline Carey's Santa Olivia, which we read a little over half of yesterday.  I'm not totally sold, but it's entertaining enough.  I reserve my final judgment for its completion.

Continental breakfast, here I come!

Tomorrow, we leave for our great road trip to Vermont.

Thus, today will be spent in preparation - cleaning so we come home to a worry-free house, packing, buying supplies (like a cooler full of Trader Joe's snacks and sandwich fixins), refilling medications.  You know, the usual.

This will be the third time I've driven to Vermont.  I flew twice.

On Thursday, Jacquelyn and I went to Ethan's 8th grade graduation.  Some of the kids had put together a film over the course of the year which was pretty awesome.  Afterward, there was a dance and then Ethan spent the night at a friend's house.

It is very strange to have Ethan be so independent.  Letting go has been really difficult.  I always thought his youngest years would be the hardest and it would just get easier over time, but it seems to be the opposite.  I have to constantly readjust what kind of parent I am based on what kind of parent he needs as he gets older.

His mother (who always complains when she doesn't know about some school function, but never goes when she's invited, and then tries to guilt-trip Ethan about 'cutting her out of his life') is making the mistake of treating him like a child.  She acts as though he stopped aging at year eight.

One of the hard parts is that I have to now trust that my choices about his upbringing have endowed him with the ability to make his own intelligent choices.

Sometimes I worry and think I was a better parent to a little kid.  It was actually kind of easy.  Even the whole teen-parent/being poor thing.  It wasn't as bad as I was warned.  It wasn't a walk in the park on rose petals either, but I was good at it.  Being a parent to a teenager is difficult.

Only four more years before he finishes high school and goes off to college.  And I'll see less and less of him over those four years.  It seems strange to be nostalgic in that empty-nest way at ye olde thirty-one.

OMFGHEADACHE

Update: 600mg of ibuprofen, lots of water & iced tea & food, and I am feeling much better, but now just exhausted.  Maybe I will pass out watching MythBusters on Netflix Instant.

Figaro went for an adventure this morning. He's been doing a lot better lately - he's on steroids and medicine for his thyroid, on a grain-free diet, and taking vitamin-B supplements. He's still weaker than he was, but he is very alert and active now.

( Here's some photographic evidence of his adventure. )

Tomorrow, Ethan "graduates" from 8th grade. Next year, he'll be in high school. Why didn't you people tell me I'm elderly? I know I have a few grey hairs in my beard but, come on! Me, the parent of a high schooler? At least I have more hair on my head than my dad did at this stage.

After several weeks in a pretty good mood I have slipped and have been cranky and pessimistic the last two days.  I hope it doesn't stick.  Right now I want to say "I fucking hate everything." but I know it's not true because two days ago, I was pretty damned Zen about everything.

Jacquelyn is working her budget-fu so we can take a vacation to the Yucatan in January, or maybe over spring break.  We head to Vermont one week from today.  We're going to go camping at Devil's Lake for my birthday.

Things to look forward to.  Not a drone.

Not a drone.

I won in photog_xp for last week's theme of Lines & Patterns.  It's a view through the Overture Center dome from the Rotunda Stage on the lower level.


Okay, good night people.  I will summon eloquence later.

P.S.  You know, I haven't had coffee the last two days.  Maybe I'm a fucking addict.

After a few people asked and I researched all of the options, I've decided to start selling prints of my photography/art.  I 'm avoiding the usual venues for this and concluded that a new journal would be the best way to do this.  So people, check out jackart and let me know what you think.  I'll probably pimp this to the iconomicon in a little while and see how that goes. 



Some gallery in town is putting together a showing of art from a few of the artists at my job, so I will have my first showing in August.  Until a year ago, I wouldn't have chosen photography.  I don't know why I never really pursued this before - I've wanted to learn photography since I was a wee lad.

Ethan had his first public theatre performance last night.  The best kids from his drama class performed at the Overture Center.  Above is the fist minute-and-a-half of the skit he performed in.  Below, are some photos I took.  He says he wants to do more drama when he's in high school.

( Two Tickets, Three Boys )