THE MISADVENTURES OF AN ESOTERIC INVESTIGATOR

Body proves Bigfoot no myth, hunters say

2008-08-15T12:47:59Z

(CNN) -- A policeman and a former corrections officer say that on Friday they will unveil evidence of what they claim is their biggest find ever: the body of Bigfoot.

The thawed body of a creature reputed to be Bigfoot reportedly weighs more than 500 pounds.

Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, a pair of Bigfoot-hunting hobbyists from north Georgia, say they found the creature's body in a wooded area and spotted several similar creatures that were still alive.

The carcass of the furry half-man, half-ape is 7 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs more than 500 pounds, they say. However, the two are not disclosing the exact location of their discovery to protect the remaining creatures.

Tom Nelson, chairman of the biology department at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega, said he's "pretty skeptical" the world will feast its eyes on a new species Friday.

"That would certainly rock mammalogy," joked Nelson, who specializes in the study of mammals. "I see a research grant in my future."

Whitton and Dyer plan to unveil what they say is DNA and photo evidence of the discovery in Palo Alto, California, in conjunction with a group called Searching for Bigfoot Inc.

A photograph on that group's Web site shows what appears to be the body of a large, hairy creature with an ape-like face, stuffed into a large freezer.

According to a written release, the two announced the discovery on an Internet radio show, "Squatch Detective," several weeks ago.

"The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the Real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi," Dyer said, referring to Searching for Bigfoot's CEO, who has been looking for the elusive, legendary creature in the United States and Canada since 1971.

Whitton is a Georgia police officer who is on administrative leave after being shot in the wrist during a pursuit. Dyer is a former prison guard.

DNA tests on the body have begun, said the statement, and "extensive scientific studies" will be done on the body by scientists, including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist and a paleontologist.

Nelson, the university professor, acknowledged that new species of animals have been discovered in recent decades and that, in science, "we always acknowledge the possibility of something new."

But he said that even in north Georgia, home to the Blue Ridge Mountains and the foot of the Appalachian Trail, it stretches the imagination to think a family of 7-foot-tall creatures could have eluded hunters, hikers and creeping development until now.

"To the average person, these places just seem like extreme wilderness where you'll find lions and tigers and bears," he said. "The reality is that you're never more than a mile from a road."

The group says the animal is male, has reddish hair and "blackish-gray" eyes and human-like feet, hands and teeth.

The Shoes Photography Experience™

2008-08-11T03:02:09Z

This week's theme over at photog_xp was Shoes and below the cut are my photos, the adventures of me new red Converse One*Stars.

Day One

Day Two

Day Three

Day Four

Day Five

Day Seven

I didn't do Day Six, wasn't feeling up to it at all. I can't wait to be back to normal, healing-wise.

Out on a Sunday cruise. A foot cruise, I suppose.

2008-08-11T02:56:15Z

Ethan and I took a long walk today, partially to run errands, but mostly because it was just an absolute perfect day and we definitely needed to get out of the house. We were ridiculously exhausted by the time we got home, but it was worth it. Here's our photographic documentation of our trip, plus a few other random pictures:

Father & Son Start the Journey

I took this one through Ethan's sunglasses.

Ethan makes me make goofy faces.

See! It's all his fault.

He really is so serious. Only for the camera. Otherwise, he's a goof.

The water was so clear, I got a picture of a fish and it's shadow on the floor.

Graffiti on a street sign.

A glove on an electrical pole. Yeah, I don't get it either.

My chest wound is healing.

Along Wingra Drive.

So far, the lone pepper in our garden.

A short road cutting through two streets we needed to cross.

We know pointing isn't polite, but we couldn't help ourselves.

See, the water is seriously so clear, but algae-encrusted.

Walking in my new red shoes!

Who leaves their toys laying around?

I just liked this random shot.

Some of our tomatoes in our garden.

See, the water's a bit swampy.

Today's garden harvest of two zucchini and six little tomatoes.

Some yellow flowers. They're perty, huh?

I don't know why, but I do love signs.
So that be it, my peoples. I have to get some sleep. 5am is much too early for me!

Welcome to Sunday morning.

2008-08-10T14:32:08Z

Ethan has grown two-and-a-quarter inches between April 1st and today. That means he's a crazifying half-an-inch taller than six-foot. I suppose we're always taller in the mornings, but he's a little worried. "I don't wan to be taller than you!" he says.

Friday night I went to kiwikat & shevus' for dinner. We played some MarioKart on the Wii and snuck in a game of Scrabble. Brian kicked our asses and I seriously played the worst game of my life. I just had the most terrible letter combinations the whole time. I had a blast, but at this point, laughing is still way too hard and is very painful, so I guess no fun for Jack!

Jacquelyn, who was meanwhile driving to Minnesota, called crying and my first thought was that she'd been in a car accident. He heart did that scary leaping/lurching thing and I could feel the adrenaline course through my body. So, when she told me she'd hit a raccoon, I was quite relieved. I know how much Jacquelyn loves animals and needlessly killing one is very traumatic. I feel horrible when it happens to me. Hell, I cried when I hit a raccoon that was already dead. I tried to comfort her over the phone, but I was so relieved she was safe that I don't think I did a good job.

I don't normally work Saturdays in the summer, but it was the Great Taste of the Midwest and my company scheduled basically everyone. The Great Taste is a giant beer festival, so yes, a lot of drunk people and beer enthusiasts. It was a pretty busy day and by the end of it, I was incredibly sore and exhausted. Unfortunately this meant I was unable to attend brdgt's barbecue for which I was very sad. I basically spent the night medicated on Vicodin, watching Jumper and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

This morning I was still feeling pretty sore, but much better. It's going to be an awesome day, a high of 73 or so, and thus I am going to go for a nice walk, check out the garden, do some errands, like the library and the post office. Jacquelyn should be home tomorrow, which will be nice. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss her when she's gone. (You know, because missing implies neediness and neediness is ugly and I am a manly-man who needs nothing and no one. I am a rock! An island! I do not suffer the whims of emotions! I don't need anyone!)

Hehe, okay, enough silliness, I have to see if I can make omelets in my injured state.

OMG, it's liek totally the rising cost of medical services!

2008-08-08T14:18:45Z

In yesterday's mail, I received my copy of the hospital bill from Salt Lake City. A bill from my actual physician/surgeon will come separately. This is just the hospital bill. The grand total for my eight-day stay: $41,022.53. That's a little over five-grand a day. Thank the Gods for insurance, eh?

Just a few examples of the charges:

My daily room fee was $650.48, except for the one day I spent in the ICU, which was $1,103.79.
The fee they charge for nursing care is approximately $51.90 per hour, charged 24-hours a day, the entire duration of my stay.
Each dose of morphine (technically hydromorphone) cost $24.28.
The contrast fluid for my CT Scan cost $215.00.
The actual CT scan of my chest cost $1004.00.
The CT of my neck was $715.00.
The sodium pills I had to take were a whopping nickel a piece.
I was in the Operating Room for 279 minutes, which is approximately 4.65 hours for a total charge of $4360.77, which comes out to $937.80 per hour.
General anesthesia for those 279 minutes ran $823.05, or $177.00 per hour to keep me under.

Money well spent, I'd say.

20Q Meme, v7.77

2008-08-05T22:35:55Z

* Tag 7 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

* People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

I was tagged by helpimarock .

And now I tag:
anubis75
bedlover
kiwikat
natural_path
twilighttreader
okwatanzinone
irishspongie

01. How has LJ changed your life?
My lovely and brilliant girlfriend Jacquelyn is an LJ acquisition, my icon community just paid for my father and I to go to Salt Lake City so I could get a major heart surgery, and most of the people I currently socialize with I met through LJ, so the real question I suppose should be How is LJ *not* your life?

02. What do you do before bedtime?
Brush my teeth, wash my face, get fresh water for myself, Jacquelyn, Ethan, and the kitties, set my alarm, occasionally read a bit then sleep. I have no trouble dropping off to sleep. I think I had insomnia once when I was ten on Christmas Eve.

03. What are you going to have for dinner tonight?
The last of kiwikat 's lasagna which she was nice enough to bake for me before Jacquelyn left. Post-surgery, I'm kind of unable to do a lot of cooking and other labor-intensive things, so everyone seems to be taking good care of me :)

04. What is the ONE place you want to go before you die if you had the money and the time?
I want to sleep a night in the King's Chamber of the Great Pyramid at Giza. Ideally, I would like to spend three days in there following a long fast.

05. What scares you?
Sanity, or the lack therof.

06. What do you do in your free time?
What's that? Oh, I get it. Photography, graphic design, bicycling, reading, writing, playing with kitties, constructing cosmologies.

07. If you could speak another language (meaning one you currently don't know), what would it be?
French. I've always had an odd affinity for the French and was always upset that my high school never offered French. We had German, Spanish, or Latin to choose from. Seriously though, who speaks Latin anyway?

08. What personal belonging do you have with you everywhere you go?
Cell phone, money clip, pain killers, Moleskine, pen, nail clippers. I may switch bags, but these things are almost always in it.

09. What was your favorite song or musical group when you were young?
I grew up on Weird Al and Ray Stevens. I used to love the song Do You Love Me by The Contours. I listened to 80's hair bands via osmosis when I was 13. Nirvana was the band that I really loved and still do. Nirvana separated me from my hair band friends and sent me on my lonely path of weirdness.

10. Are you a risk taker?
As in adrenaline-pounding-I-might-die risks, no. Everything else, yes. I never know if something is going to work before I do it.

11. Is being tagged fun?
No, not really. I hate memes, but in my Vicodin haze, it's keeping me focused and conscious, so that's cool.

12. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
I'll be 41, married, published, teaching, amazed at how old I am, reveling in my grey beard, proud that my son is graduating college.

13. If you could be anyone for one day, who would you be?
I'm a simple man, I'd be someone with a giant bank account who would then write me a ginormous check instantly making me independently wealthy so I could devote myself full time to research, travel, and writing.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
helpimarock is a pretty cool guy. He is an intelligent, independent thinker. He is funny and creative and someone I would definitely friend were we in a reasonable physical proximity. Like anyone, he has issues that occasionally overwhelm his better qualities, but unlike most people, he actively strives to overcome his problems

15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
This question has so many ifs. Happily married, sure. But what if my marriage partner was Ann Coulter? Fuck no! I'll take rich and single, thank you very much.

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
I am a firm believer in the Replace Yourself Only theory of procreation. That way, each couple only has two kids. I've already got one, so in theory I would only have one more, however, I'm willing to have two more.

17. Is reality objective or subjective?
There are two realities. One is objective, one is subjective. They influence each other.

18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
You become poly and pick both. You conduct a reality-tv show and have them battle for your affections. You dump both and go live in a monastery because there is no fucking way you're getting into this kind of drama.

19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for £10,000,000?
Do I get to pick the stranger?

20. What is your favorite color?
Dark red. Orange. Grey.

It's late in the afternoon or early in the evening, do you know where your Jack Shoegazer is?

2008-08-04T22:42:35Z

I went to the doctor this afternoon to have my surgical wounds checked out and to get a refill on my pain meds. Everything seems to be in good healing order and my doctor said I seem to be doing extremely well for having just gone through a very major surgery.

I've been sticking to my weight restrictions, not lifting anything over ten pounds, not stressing my chest or back. I've been getting my 30-45 minutes of walking in every day, though that's not difficult since I have to do that much just to get to and from my bus stops. Work is a bit difficult because I can't lift luggage, wheelchairs, or heavy packages. Turning around to look when backing up also hurts quite a bit, so I've been keeping that to a minimum.

Sleeping is kind of the worst because laying down is no fun at all. I can't lay in any one position for long and I need to be propped up quite firmly. On top of this, I have to get up occasionally to take more pain meds. Nothing feels quite as nice as waking up in excruciating pain in the middle of the night :P

On a bright side, I've lost about eight to ten pounds since I left for the surgery. Being on an 1800-calorie diabetic diet for 8 days might do that, on top of the fact I have to eat slower because it's exhausting to move that much or that fast.

Ethan's been here this week to help me with all the tasks and chores I can't really do and he's been awesome. Jacquelyn has been having a good time in Milwaukee being a genius. Today was her award ceremony where they heaped her with praise, accolades, money, and giant posters with cute pictures of her all over them.

I think Ethan and I are going to have some pizza and watch more ALIAS. I finished S02, but I have to get him caught up. angrybunnyman and lady_fox got me Little Britain S02 for my birthday (amongst other yet-to-be-determined items) so there's always that evil temptation.

Waiting for the bus, on the way to the doctor.

More and more for youuuuuuu!

2008-08-04T02:09:08Z

Here are some more photos from my trip, mostly landscapes and one of some tubes sticking out of my chest.

I'm waiting on my doctor for the actual photos and video of my operation.

Two More Photos

2008-08-02T21:45:50Z

This photo I took as I was preparing to be discharged. I am disheveled, unkempt, and unshaved after eight days in the hospital.

This is another on-the-road shot as I passed through Wyoming.

Stupid.

2008-08-02T17:54:04Z

Anyone else not getting comment notifications?

File Under: Narcotic-induced attention-deficit disorder-inspired ramblings.

2008-08-02T05:25:49Z

It has been a few days since I returned home from Salt Lake. I am in general recover mode; cleaning wounds taking pain meds, and discovering how much of a pain it is to not be able to lift anything over ten pounds. Between the pain and the meds for it (Lortab - one of the many Vicodin-like hydrocodone/acetaminophen combos) I have little attention span and fall asleep regularly, like narcolepsy. Thus, I haven't done much but space out in front of the television and go for a few walks. I haven't even had the energy to be at the computer. I've edited one photo so far, as seen below.

The Longest Road (Somewhere in Wyoming, I Think.)

Jacquelyn left last night for the annual Ecological Society of America meeting, at which she's giving talks and receiving an award. Afterwards, she is headed off for a research trip so I won't see her until the 11th or 12th. It's sad that we only got a few days together between my surgery and her conference but they say that bit about absence and hearts so I'm betting on that.

Sleeping has been difficult without an infinitely-adjustable hospital bed to bend to my every whim. Such as it is, I should try to get some sleep anyway. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of swim lessons and post offices and seeing how much movement I can take before I cry and eat more narcotics.

Estoy en las casa.

2008-07-30T01:53:51Z

Yah, dude.

Voice Post

2008-07-28T21:13:42Z

Voice Post

2008-07-28T17:35:17Z

Days and days and days.

2008-07-27T21:46:01Z

Hola Dear Readers!

My laptop decided it had Alzheimer's and I've been unable to update. I am doing well and should have arrived home tomorrow, but on Friday afternoon, I developed a blood clot in my right neck and arm. I've been on heparin ever since. Apparently when the body undergoes surgery, it acts crazy, like stopping insulin production and upping clotting factors. Once my clotting factor has been stabalized, I'll be able to come home, probably Tueday, but I'm hoping maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, it's been a haze of napping and tv-movies and pain medication and blood-draws and IV changes, though I'm feeling better every day. Obviously my chest still hurts but my leg feels better and I should have some exqusitely yucky pictures as soon as I get home. I've reached a saturation-point with hospital food and daytime television. I'm very grateful my dad brought in his laptop for this much needed internet break.

Thank you all for your support and flowers and well-wishes! I'll be back to full-force soon!

The road to recovery...

2008-07-22T21:59:53Z

jackshoegazer (aka Jeremy Parker) has been moved from the ICU to a regular room. He's in room 303 in the Heart and Lung Center at the Intermountain Medical Center. While I'm sure he'd love to receive notes, cards, or gifts, I'd advise against phone calls. He's still in quite a lot of pain (he had the "worst night of his life" last night, as he described to me).

Thanks again for all of your support! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! This should be my last missive as jackshoegazer's surrogate, so hopefully you'll be back to his much-more-entertaining posts soon!

~antarcticlust

(x-posted)

Update!

2008-07-21T20:57:09Z

jackshoegazer is out of surgery, which was a "text-book operation" according to the surgeon. He is in intensive care, on a lot of drugs and oxygen, but they were able to get the breathing tube out in the OR so he should be out of ICU tomorrow. He's experiencing quite a bit of pain and the meds aren't helping much, so your continued thoughts, prayers (he's rather fond of Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles), long-distance Reiki, and general well-wishings are all greatly appreciated.

Feel free to send flowers, cards, etc. care of Jeremy Parker to the Intermountain Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. He doesn't have a room number yet, but I'm sure they'll get there. Flowers and immediate-delivery items should probably wait until Wednesday, to make sure he's out of ICU. I'll post a room number as soon as he has one.

You can use the hospital gift shop to send flowers or gifts at (801) 507-5130, or send him a message which the nurses will print out and deliver to him at this site.

A missive from antarcticlust...

2008-07-21T15:10:55Z

Hello, friends of jackshoegazer! This is antarcticlust, posting with Jeremy's account to keep you all updated on his medical procedure, as he'll be out of touch for a couple of days at least.

Jeremy's surgery started early this morning. He's at the Intermountain Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. After surgery, he'll be in Intensive Care for a day or two, and then back into a standard room for more recovery. I'm sure he'd welcome flowers, etc. at that time (though not before, as they can't have flowers in ICU), and cards would be equally appreciated if you're so inclined. Feel free to send to the hospital in the above link.

His dad will call me as soon as he gets out, so I'll know how things went and will post another update. Thanks again for all your thoughts, prayers, and good intentions!

Check ya later, dude.

2008-07-21T04:02:56Z

I'm going to sleep now. My surgery is at 7:30am Mountain Standard Time. I will probably be internet-less for the next couple of days, but I'm sure Jacquelyn will post about how the surgery goes. My doctor says I should only be in the ICU for a day, maybe two, before I get moved back to a regular room. I'll update as soon as I can. Thank you, all of you, for your thoughts, prayers, donations, and words of support.

Coincidence.

2008-07-21T03:28:14Z

Weird.

My night nurse is Paul Genesse. We chatted about George R.R. Martin and Orson Scott Card and writing and publishing and networking and absolutely demanded I go to WisCon next year.

Poked, prodded and scanned everywhich way.

2008-07-21T00:11:05Z

The nurses took six tries to put in two IVs because I was a bit dehydrated and cold. (The humidity here is like 17%.) I gave a lot of blood, had two chest x-rays, an EKG, and and an MRI. All tests point toward normality. My potassium was a little low and I definitely don't have diabetes. I've met my nurses and my doctor's surgical assistant and a anaesthesiologist and a respritaory therapist and just now, my doctor. He has assured me this is a very safe procedure and compared to most other heart surgeries not very invasive. He said my biggest worry is bleeding and infection, which is less than one to two percent. So, uh, YAY!

My doctor also said that they would be taking pictures and video which I would get copies of. How cool is that?

There is internet in my hospital room!

2008-07-20T14:29:45Z

I am at the hospital and am mostly checked in. I'm in my room, have filled out a bunch of paperwork and as soon as I have to go, will be providing a urine sample. (I know you wanted to know that!) In a bit, they'll be hauling me out for various tests. I didn't get a room with a view of the mountains, but of a very pretty tan wall. I suppose I can't have everything. I forsee much tv watching in my future.

The lake is made of salt.

2008-07-20T04:39:07Z

I have arrived in the Great Salt Lake. Okay, actually, I'm in the city surrounding the lake. We pop out of a series of winding mountainous roads a suddenly the whole city looms ahead.

I'm skipping dinner and going to sleep right away. My hotel is great and I'll partake of their deluxe breakfast. After breakfast tomorrow, I can't eat until after my surgery on Monday.

Although driving so many hours has been wearing, it's been good. The country here is beautiful. Catching up with my dad has been good. I've gotten to hear what the first few years of my life were like; I filled him in on some of my exploits as a teen he never knew (the sit-in, the suspensions, the school board meetings, the underground newspaper...) It's been revealing and healthy.

Sleep beckons, dear reader.

Voice Post

2008-07-19T23:39:35Z

This is the furthest west I have ever been.

2008-07-19T05:56:40Z

I am in Omaha, Nebraska, which - at night - is basically indistinguishable from any other major midwestern city. The drive has been good. My father and I talked the whole way, covering topics from the physics of engines to economic/political ideologies to sordid family history. (Did I ever mention that apparently, my biological mother was a bit of a whore? She apparently even cheated on my father with his brother, which explains why my aunt hated her so much.)

Anyhoo, the plan is to awaken bright and early and finish the trek to Salt Lake City, which is about, I think, 10 hours. Okay, I need some sleep. I'll check in sometime tomorrow. Until then, remember kids - do your homework in the dark and eat your cereal with a fork. (Yeah, Pump Up the Volume, ftw!)