THE MISADVENTURES OF AN ESOTERIC INVESTIGATOR

The Holiday Recap

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:50:32 GMT

This was our Christmas tree:

Yeah, that's Mr. Holmes hanging out. This was his first Christmas with us and he loved it. He would hide under the tree and pounce on people when they walked by. He's gotten into the habit of reaching up to grab my leg and meow at me when I pass him so I will stop and wrestle with him a bit.

He's rarely sitting still this long. And more rare is that closed-eyes thing. It's like he never sleeps.

Anyway.

I was particularly poor this year. Which is frustrating because I've got something like $10,000 coming in over the next month between student loan money and my tax refund. Most of our gifts came from Jacquelyn's parents, who sent each of us a few things from our Amazon wish lists. My parents had some huge medical bills this year (even after insurance they were still paying over $1000 for an MRI) and we got homemade gifts from them. Knitted washcloths and candles and wooden peg games. Jacquelyn managed to get me a book she'd ordered a while ago.

It's called Contact Sheet and it's pretty awesome. The author took some famous photographs and hunted down the contact sheet - the initial print of the whole roll of film - for those photos. You can see what the variety of shots were and how they picked the best one.

Jacquelyn also snatched up some old Bureau of Land Management surface land use maps from the geography library to recycle as wrapping paper. They looked spectacular:

Here's the lovely lady:

Jacquelyn's birthday is on the solstice right before Christmas and I got her tickets to see Yo La Tengo later this month. This holiday was particularly difficult for her as family and tradition are very important to her and both were pretty lacking this year.

We did start what is going to be a new tradition - the New Year's Medieval Feast. She researched traditional holiday meals for medieval times and prepared a multi-course feast for us. Traditional bread and cheeses and salads, egg noodles with cheese, Cornish game hens wrapped in bacon and crust, plums in wine, and bread pudding with currants. It was fantastic and the food was so rich. Simple but my god, so rich.

Did I mention there's an icicle outside my house that is trying to reach the ground?

It got very close. Too close. You've got to reign in those uppity icicles all tryin' to be columns.

Last, but not least, I got hired to make another rave flyer - this one is at a hotel resort. They wanted a sort of neo-80's neon sun-and-surf theme. I believe the request was for "chicks in bikinis, palm trees, big crowds, and that pop-art swirly shit." It's a one-page flyer, folded. Under the cut, you can see the whole thing, cut up in order, the cover, the inside and then the back cover.

I think that's all for now.

Bedtime for Bonzo

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:37:10 GMT

Last night I drove taxi from 3pm to 3am. It was my first night shift and it wasn't too shabby. I made good money with a minimal amount of obnoxious drunks. One drunken 40-something who couldn't say something homoerotic. Otherwise, funny people who were bowling and an elderly woman who kissed my cheek after I helped her out of the cab. Other than the splitting headache I had all night, it was a good shift. This morning, when I was trying to sleep in (got to bed around 4), Loki had curled up next to me and Ethan and Jacquelyn thought it was picture-worthy.

In the future there will be synonyms.

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:19:47 GMT

Yesterday, the last of my grades for last semester came in. I managed to sneak an AB out of that weather & climate class, which finally popped my ongoing 4.0. After 53 credits, I have a cumulative 3.962. I think I can deal with that.

I have to apply for transfer to UW by February 1st. I have one letter writer on board - the teacher I had for English 1, Intro to Lit, and Creative Writing. I think I may ask my anthro teacher as well. I've been in a sort of 50/50 split on whether to pick lit/writing or anthro for a major. It has been suggested that I just double-major and do both, but I still have to choose one for my application. I'm leaning lit right now, mostly because that would also be my strongest letter. And, really, it's what I want to do. An eventual MFA certainly wouldn't hurt getting my foot int he door of some publishers.

Which means, I am going to have to finally get around to reading all those damned "classics" I have somehow missed in my odd education. My lit teacher was amazed I'd never read Updike. I've also never read Faulkner or Melville or many of the old white guys. I did read one Hemmingway short story. I've read Hamlet and Romeo & Juliet, so that's the extent of my Shakespeare.

I know, I am an uncultured, uncivilized heathen.

Ever wonder why some clouds are flat on the bottom?

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 08:10:06 GMT

If I didn't get an A on my weather & climate final, I will be very surprised. Finally I took a test in that class and actually felt like I really understood the material. Which is odd because if you'd asked me yesterday what I'd learned, I'd have been hard-pressed to tell you.

I drank coffee much too late in the day. Speaking of which, I need to invest in a bean grinder.

Also, a solution:

Nine degrees Fahrenheit and sunny.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:19:15 GMT

I just finished Dragon Age: Origins, which was awesome. I was a totally good, uber-moral guy. Next I will play it as a power-and-wealth-hungry bastard.

I also started reading John Irving's latest, Last Night in Twisted River, which is feeling very "classic" Irving - more along the lines of Owen, Garp, & Cider.

Now I have to spend the rest of the day studying for my 5:30pm Weather & Climate final, which is the last bit of schooling for this semester. Winter break, mofos!

P.S. How freakin' long are these video game credits?

Snowpocalypse Oh-Nine

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:38:16 GMT

We got 16 inches of snow last night, which is about enough to shut down just about everything. It is pretty amazing. I may not like winter, but when this much snow falls, there's some kind of energy in the air that I can not deny and I adore days like this. I don't mind spending a bunch of time digging the car out or driving slow everywhere. I don't mind getting freezing cold and wet.

Jacquelyn and I braved the Snowpocalypse and bagged our Christmas tree. We drove around quite a while, talking and drinking eggnog latte, and having a good 'ol time.

Tomorrow is my last official day of classes - just photography and weight training. I have two finals, one Monday and another Tuesday. Otherwise, the critique in photography is my last bit for the semester. Here's my "informal portrait" of Ethan:

This one has been edited a little digitally - the one I turned in isn't very different. Here's another one I took, which I think is pretty cool:

I thought I might cut this post but then I said no. Alright, kiddos, I've got to get some sleep. Tah-tah.

I want to punch that smug douchebag.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 07:31:39 GMT

I just finished Dan Brown's new book, The Lost Symbol, and I am sort of divided. Tortured, actually, on how to grade this.

Dan Brown couldn't write his way out envelope constructed of wet toilet paper. His descriptions of buildings and landscapes sound like they were lifted directly from travel brochures and Fromer's guides. His dialog is hackneyed and stilted - no one talks the way his characters do. If it's not overly simplistic reactions, it's paragraphs of pseudo-academic exposition. He has this annoying habit of restating things in italics that drives me insane. Half the time they are repetitive thoughts and the other half they are pithy summations of the last three paragraphs. HIs main character rarely does anything but freak out and complain that nothing makes sense. And occasionally have a revelation about what a symbol means. His villains are cliche, replete with physical deformities. His romantic interests are tall, thin, and interchangable, lacking in any defining characteristics. Brown's plot twists are the worst thing twists can be - predictable.

However, I find that if I suspend my critical thinking ability, I actually enjoy these books. I don't try to solve the riddles and puzzles before the characters do. I don't think too hard about what's going to happen - I just let the plot take me wherever it's going. If I do think about it, I realize I'm reading dreck and it takes a minute to turn the dumb back on. It's like eating meat. Sure, it tastes good and you really enjoy it, as long as you're not watching a documentary about factory farming while you're eating.

As a student of religion, psychology, conspiracy, and the occult, I enjoy seeing my favorite esoteric subjects put forth so prominently in mainstream fiction. Sometimes I want to punch Dan Brown for wasting some of my novel ideas on BigMac books, but I get over that pretty quickly. I wills ay though, that the man really does his homework. His research is fairly right on - to the point where it's like he's just directly quoting - and yet where he changes or adds things, it fits in with the little world he's created. Of course it's all terribly simplistic - I've said it before; he's the poor man's Umberto Eco. Or rather, he's the idiot child of Umberto Eco and Michael Crichton.

So, on one hand, I want to give this book a terrible rating. C- or even a D. But the last two chapters were worth reading the 500ish pages before it. I'd give the last two chapters an A-, but they only work within context of what came before. So how does one reconcile this difference? I'm stumped for now, because though I bitched about the book the whole way through, I enjoyed it. I suppose it's like the BigMac I mentioned before - you know it's bad for you intellectually, but the body enjoys all that fat and smiles.

As much as I hate this meme, I do it every year.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:43:51 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, jackshoegazer sent to me...

Twelve psychotropics drumming

Eleven psychedelics piping

Ten gnosis a-painting

Nine chaos cooking

Eight sirius a-drawing

Seven dreams a-writing

Six movies a-dancing

Five bri-i-i-ight eyes

Four transcending stereotypes

Three conspiracy theories

Two quantum physics

...and a scrabble in a discordian society.

Good luck, Copenhagen!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:53:58 GMT

End of the Year Meme

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:52:19 GMT

JANUARY: I read significantly more male than female authors this year (82%/18%) but all of the best books from this year were definitely the female authors.

FEBRUARY: This assignment was to pick a shape/element/trope of fiction and write a story based on it.

MARCH: My iconomicon, a.k.a. The All-Seeing, All-Knowing, Almighty ICONOMICON! turns three at the end of the month and just hit 4000 members.

APRIL: London, England (CNN) In a bizarre turn of events, not one single person on the entire planet was fooled by an April Fool's Day gag.

MAY: I have returned from the great trek westward.

JUNE: I haven't trimmed my beard in weeks.

JULY: I have a grey hair in one of my eyebrows.

AUGUST: This health care debate has me so pissed off, I can't even begin to articulate it.

SEPTEMBER: I haven't taken any pictures with the digital since I started shooting with the film camera.

OCTOBER: For my chemistry class (a non-major chemistry class, which I am beginning to regret taking) I have to do a project on three elements.

NOVEMBER: After a mad-dash abandonment of Paul Kinsey, Philip K. Dick, Allen Ginsberg, and Charles Manson, I finally decided to go brdgt 's 60's Halloween Cocktail Party as Norman Bates (and his mum.)

DECEMBER: The other day at work was a study in dichotomy.

Oh yeah, it's 80's Movie Night - The Breakfast Club!

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:02:58 GMT

Did you know that the original Flash got his super-speed powers from inhaling the vapor of - get this - hard water. Yeah, hard water. Oops, there was too much limestone in my water, too many calcium ions and POOF! - I can run faster than the speed of sound.

I spent a couple hours doing research and working on my paper/presentation, but the majority will have to be done on Sunday. I still have homework and reading to do for my weather class, plus studying and a test in chemistry. Thank goodness there's no finals in weight training or photography. I just have one more project to finish up for that class. Oh darn.

Speaking of which, here are two more of my prints. Nice scans this time too.

Otherwise, I spent my day with class in the morning (calculating how much carbon dioxide is produced from burning one gallon of gasoline - about 18 pounds) and then errands. Car wash, gas (ironically), cat food, lunch. Since next semester is my last before I transfer to the university, I spent some time looking into the different programs there to see what I might be interested in. It's all ridiculously intimidating at this point since I don't know what I want a degree in (I like everything) and I really need to have something picked because I have to apply for transfer before February 1st (which means I need to decide who to ask for letters of recommendation.) Art, anthropology, psychology, history? Do I become and English major with an emphasis on creative writing? Do I pursue photography further?

Though, after reading a few chapters of this new Dan Brown book, I'm pretty sure if I smeared boogers on a page, I could get a multimillion-dollar publishing deal.

A Metaphor for Life

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:14:03 GMT

Slooooooowdoooowwwwwwn.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:09:17 GMT

Talk about a gear shift: moving from Robert A. Heinlein's highly intellectual, bare-bones, philosophic novel to Dan Brown's pseudo-intellectual, travel-guide-with-a-plot, wealth-coveting, so-called conspiracy novel has given me whiplash.

Polarity?

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:05:51 GMT

The other day at work was a study in dichotomy.

I had one call with a Creationist weaver to whom I had to explain how evolution works (and even worked in how that it might be part of God's plan and not necessarily the antithesis) and my next passenger was a Libertarian Wiccan to whom I had to explain smoking bans and assure him that the government was not going to take his guns away. There was something about aliens in there too.

Later I picked up a few women from one of the high-priced "dorms" and they were talking about and comparing their diamond watches. Immediately after, I picked up a woman on medical assistance with three kids who complained the whole way about her boyfriend, fifteen years her senior, who won't get a job and is extremely selfish and refuses to even help out with the kids, but she can't kick him out because she knows he would have to live on the street.

Don't look at me like that.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:13:25 GMT

The phrase "a penny for your thoughts" was coined in England in 1546. Out of curiosity, I went and calculated what a British penny would be worth, adjusted for inflation. Then I converted it to U.S. dollars and it turns out that your thoughts are now available for the very reasonable price of $9.79.

Inside this book, you will find a book.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:26:16 GMT

I've tallied up the books I've read this year and with a month to go, I've only read... TWENTY! Considering I used to beat the Fifty Book Challenge to death, I'm a little disappointed. I did read some really, really good books, and one could go for that whole quality versus quantity argument, but I won't. I'll still get a few more in there. After I finish Stranger in a Strange Land, I'm going to burn through Dan Brown's latest farce.

Yeah, I read Dan Brown, and even kind of enjoy it. Being a student of the occult and conspiracy theories, I am always amused by what he does. He's a poor man's Umberto Eco or an idiot's Robert Anton Wilson. I even had the idea for The DaVinci Code years before he wrote that book (because he basically cribbed the whole things from Holy Blood, Holy Grail) and never got around to writing it up. This new one is supposed to be all about Freemasonry, so I'll enjoy that and see what kind of horror he dribbles all over it.

Stranger in a Strange Land is an odd, odd book, and had I read it ten years ago, I think it would have completely flipped my lid. It is really amazing on a lot of levels, particularly in the theological messages of the book (Thou Art God!) However, it has a Libertarian streak a thousand miles wide, which is actually tolerable since it is balanced out and not quite the brand of annoying Libertarianism that is rampant today. There's also some hints of Randian Objectivism, but just hints (altruism is bad!) which is also balanced out. All in all, the book does manage to portray a wide variety of views. The one part that I'm having trouble with is the sexism. I realize that it was the early 60's and yes, it was definitely a more sexist culture when it was written (no excuse, just being aware of context.) It just heavily jars against the more progressive ideas that are presented in the book. Granted, in 1961, when this book came out, it was extremely progressive (so much so that 67,000 words were cut from the original for being "shocking" and "against social mores" and I think the progress we've made int he last fifty years erases some of the better points the novel makes, and by contrast makes the backward parts all the more stark.

P.S. Don't spoil the end for me - I'm still not finished! (Only at the part when Ben is telling Jubal about Mike's newest, uh, venture.)

When our powers combine, we form SUPERGEEK!

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:21:29 GMT

Hey peoples!

I am doing a project for my chemistry class on bad science and superhero/villain origin stories. You know, bad chemistry or radiation give someone amazing powers. I get to cover that, and then research to find out what would happend if someone like the Hulk, was *really* exposed to high amounts of gamma radiation.

So, what I'm asking you, is if any of you know some superhero/villain origin stories off hand, just to set me in the right direction? I appreciate your help!

There's nothing scientific about politics, Jack!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:02:20 GMT

Someone posted a recent poll showing how Obama's approval numbers have gone down since the election and was wondering why. Other than the fact that it happens for pretty much every president ever elected, I said that:

"...a whole bunch of politically-unaware people got involved in the political process during the last election and now they're pissed everything isn't already fixed. You can't get your politics in a drive-thru. Changing a fucked up economy and ending two wars does not come with quick microwave directions."

Which lead to a discussion of the health care debate,in which I said:

"If we really want to go by facts for health care - what works, what doesn't and what's the most efficient way of providing health care for everyone (because let's face it - that's what we need. I can't believe people who think that you should just go die if you can't afford a cancer treatment. I mean how effing cruel? Oh wait, I forgot, altruism is the greatest evil the world has ever faced!) - if you went around and looked at all health care systems globally (which a lot of people and organizations have done), then it is the single-payer systems that work. You get the best health care outcomes for the best price and it covers everyone. I mean, think about how insurance works - everyone puts money in and whoever gets sick, gets care. If the pool spends more than it's bringing in, insurance rates go up. So how do you get the best possible rates while still covering as many people as possible? Your pool *has* to include everyone everywhere. All the able, all the sick, all the rich, all the poor. The idea of competition is ridiculous - that only helps insurance companies - more competition means more companies with more plans vying for members, which means smaller pools and therefore higher prices. If people weren't idiots, they would do their research and see this is the best, logical route to take and if people weren't idiots listening to corporations, they'd see that they were being manipulated (like the poor have been for years!) to fight for the rich. I wish I'd thought of it - rob a house and convince the homeowners that it's God's plan for me to take their shit and let them have a shoot out with the police while I sneak out the back door."

I'm feel very communicative lately. I'm glad I'm getting to write in at least tiny bits here and there. All right, I have to get back to dusting.

The Update of Updates

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:14:54 GMT

I am doing some readings and homework for my weather & climate class. I just have to thing up two questions I have about the material. It's odd - I don't have any questions; it all makes sense to me, but it's just the sheer amount of information to memorize. And like, how in one week, one class period , we're supposed to be able to know this material so well that we know exactly what the atmospheric currents would look like based on the Hadley, Ferrel, and polar cells, plus the Coriolis effect, and the pressure gradient force, and what cancels what out if there is a geostrophic balance or gradient balance. Don't forget the gravitational force and the frictional force! Don't forget to figure in land masses!

When I was a kid, I loved vampires. Now, if I was a kid now, I wouldn't touch vampires without a giant cootie-protective biohazard suit. Just saying.

I put the turkey in its brine this morning. Now it sits and soaks for two days and will be the yummiest turkey on Earth, and possibly Mars.

Photography continues to be a joyful challenge.

I've been in the mood to write lately and I should get on that, but I'm in the middle of a great book (Stranger in a Strange Land) and an awesome video game (Dragon Age) and Thanksgiving preparations. What the eff?

I never noticed before how much of a libertarian streak there was to the 1960's social movements. It's pretty present in the book I'm reading, but in retrospect, I can see it in a lot of 60's lit I've read. Then last night, right after I had a Creationist passenger (who I made some headway with, carefully explaining exactly how evolution works), I had a Libertarian Wiccan hippie in the taxi and whoa. He went on and on about how Big Brother is systematically taking our rights away (can't smoke in restaurants anymore!) and they're gonna take our guns away (no, they're not, guy, I swear it) and how the government should just leave us alone, but they think we're all so stupid that we can't even handle the facts that there is life on other planets that has visited Earth. I wish I'd had the time to talk to him that I did witht he Creationist. I'd love to interrogate that guy a bit more. Who knows what other mass of contradictions are piled up in that brain.

I have to do a project for chemistry with a presentation. I am going to do superhero and villain origin stories. Bad chemistry and nuclear accidents - what it did in comics to these guys and what *really* would happen. Should be a good time.

All right, I have to go. Enjoy!

Photography

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:58:09 GMT

Here are some scans of photographs I've taken and developed in my photography class. I learned the fancy technical term is "silver gelatin prints" which sounds way cooler than it should.

If you look, you can see three different steeples in this one.

There just happened to be a dog chained up outside this coffee shop, right in front of a fire truck.

Ethan looking like a vintage British guy.

Ethan, on "Bro Day" at a cross-country meet.

This is the one everybody freaked out over. I think I posted it before.

Other outtakes from the same shoot.

Sweaty, after a race. Did I mention he finished the season with a record of 21:58 for the 5k?

Here's that fire truck.

You just try and figure out how I did this.

Here is my awesome scientist girlfriend. Did I mention she was published in Science and the media is fawning all over her? Seriously. The New York Times, NPR, the BBC, and like a zillion other places. Yah!

Here's kiwikat in my living room drinking wine. She's a total alcoholic.

My favorite deity.

And it's pretty official - I am taking another photography class next semester!

A Formal Greeting to My Mothereffing Peeps

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:19:12 GMT

Hell, dear Readers!

I am wasting some time before I head to my weight training class. Any progress there? Eh, I can lift more weight than I could eleven weeks ago. Fifteen minutes on the elliptical used to kill me, and now I'm still kickin' arse after twenty-five. I think I'll go for thirty today.

This week has been hectic, as I've been trying to get caught up from being sick last week. Which means no real progress on Dragon Age. I developed some great photos, which I should scan someday and share with you. Our instructor has requested that we enter this major college photography contest and she helped me pick out a few images to submit. She told me to avoid anything remotely cliche - feet, typical portraits, architecture. So here are the three she liked best out of my digital stuff:

So I have to do that soon. I don't hold out much chance of winning, but it might be worth it - if I remember correctly, the top ten prizes get free Nikon digital SLRs. Even the top 100 get like $50.

Oh, by the way, the Senate health care bill removed the Stupak amendment. We still have to Hyde amendment to deal with, but it's a step in the right direction. Lately, everything political has been pointing to the fact that as long as corporations are considered people and money is considered free speech (and therefore it is corporations who fund politicians) nothing is going to get done (unless you consider making laws that only benefit international corporations a good thing.) It's really frustrating and makes me want to run for public office. You have to play the game to beat the game.

Time to go change for my workout. Peace out, dear Readers.

Hypocrite much?

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:04:10 GMT

Where do you bury the survivors?

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:04:25 GMT

It figures - one day after I go to the doctor so they can tell me there's nothing they can do, my illness finally gives up, calls a full-retreat, and agrees to all conditions of its surrender. I've only lost my voice in the battle. My throat (the battlefield, if you will) is still sore and scarred, but is much better. I'm still coughing a little, but nothing like the last few days. I just can't really talk much above a gravely whisper.

So, I'm going to school tomorrow. I've got to make up a lab, take a missed exam, visit three art shows, write journals about them, and go work out (maybe.) That's a lot for my first day out. Hopefully, none of them require the gift of gab.

Here, enjoy this:

I wonder how long it will be until anorexia isn't fashionable anymore.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:55:57 GMT

Throat Virus Day Five

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:53:05 GMT

After feeling a little better yesterday afternoon, last night was the worst night yet. I barely slept, maybe 15 minutes at a time, because my throat hurt so badly and even my usual remedies weren't helping. Ethan managed to sleep through it all, but I'm afraid my coughing kept Jacquelyn up.

My doctor managed to get me in this afternoon to make sure it wasn't strep (which it isn't) and determined it is a particularly nasty upper-respiratory throat virus. They said I should do what I've been doing, plus stay away from people as long as I have symptoms.

This virus has started to settle in my sinuses. Do I trade off my horrible throat for sinus headaches?

Laying down now. Will probably take tomorrow off too. I can honestly say I have never been this sick for this long in my adult life.